Friday, 17 March 2017

Should Bank Robbery Be Deregulated?



Phoenix, Arizona
March 9, 2017

UNKNOWN BANK ROBBER

DESCRIPTION

  • Height: 5'4"
  • Sex: Female
  • Complexion: Light
  • Race: White (Hispanic)
  • Remarks: The suspect was described as having a medium build with long dark curly hair. She was seen wearing a purple hat with a white flower on the front, purple jacket, purple dress and was carrying a large black purse.
  • Vehicle Information: Tan older model Nissan Pathfinder

CAUTION

On March 9, 2017, at approximately 10:18 a.m., the suspect entered the Fry’s grocery store located at 2626 S. 83 Avenue in Phoenix. She proceeded to the Wells Fargo branch inside where she displayed a robbery demand note which indicated she was armed with a gun. The suspect also told the teller to not follow her because there was a second suspect in the parking lot that would shoot anyone who did. The teller gave the suspect U.S. Currency and she fled the store to the listed vehicle parked in the lot.

SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ARMED AND DANGEROUS


Should bank robbery be deregulated? 


I have decided to spotlight this particular Phoenix bank robber (above--oops, not sure why her photo has disappeared from my post) from the FBI's list of 486 because I liked the panache of her purple hat with a white flower, plus I thought her image might gain me some cred with righteous Americans in search of undocumented Mexican criminals--though there is no evidence she is Mexican or undocumented.  

Why bank robbery should be deregulated:

  • Bank robbery is a business transaction between an individual and his or her banking institution of choice.  Government interference through regulation and enforcement causes inefficiency, bureaucracy and needless costs to tax payers.
  • Banks are better able to deal with bank robbery than outside government agencies because they are uniquely positioned and qualified to understand the business of bank robbery and how best to deal with it.  
  • Bank robbers take risks, like any investor, and are sometimes rewarded and sometimes penalized for their risk taking. Banks and bank robbers are better qualified in risk management than government agencies currently tasked with regulation and enforcement. 
  • The average bank robbery nets less than $8,000.  The cost of policing, security and enforcement (incarcerating one prisoner for one year in the USA currently costs more than $30,000) is much higher than the amounts that bank robbers actually steal.

Alternatives to the current system of regulating bank robbery:

  • Banks currently supply much of their own security.  Bank security should be turned over entirely to the private sector and banks themselves, replacing onerous costs to tax payers and a system of multiple layers of conflicting police forces (FBI, Municipal, State, sheriffs, marshals from local police forces as well as the banks' own security systems and other private security companies, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, and Private Military Contractors such as Blackwater) with a single efficient system paid for and managed by the banks themselves.
  • Many prisons in the USA are private, for-profit ventures.  In essence banks already own and run a significant part of the prison system.  Allowing banks to once and for all take over the incarceration of captured bank robbers would alleviate the burden on middle-class tax payers, clear the court system for more profitable forms of litigation, and convert the incarceration of prisoners into profitable work.  
  • Smaller banks may feel unprepared to manage their own security, policing and incarceration.  Private contractors and franchises will be able to fill these gaps.  Some smaller banks may simply decide that bank robbery is "the price of doing business" and such a policy will no doubt function in the short term given the relatively small cost of individual bank robberies; however, it seems clear that these banks will eventually be absorbed by larger enterprises with their own police forces, court system and prisons.  
  • Some left-leaning, liberal bankers (widely know as "oxymorons" or just "big morons") may decide on sending bank robbers to school (a year of college costs less than a third of the cost of a year of incarceration in the USA) and profit from the disparity of costs.  However, until such time as banks have more fully privatized the education system in the USA, this approach is not  recommended.


The time is ripe!

The USA is once again on the verge of massive deregulation of the banking and financial services industry, and a return to the golden age of 2007.  The time is right and ripe and propitious for the deregulation of bank robbery within the wider and much more significant scope of the deregulation of banking as a whole.  Don't let this moment pass you by without considering how you and I and the entire world will benefit from the deregulation of banking and financial services!

2 comments:

  1. This makes a very strange amount of sense.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Strange amount of sense" is a pretty pithy definition of irony. Thanks for the comment Michelle. Stay tuned for full disclosure on "banking deregulation."

    ReplyDelete